This woman, who I will refer to as M, sat down and with some prompting, began to explore the feelings of heaviness that she used to describe her emotional state over the past few days. She thoughtfully tried to explain what heaviness feels like-- not exactly sad, not exactly upset, not angry or hurt.
I explained to M that sometimes when we are experiencing a confusing emotion, that it can be helpful to depict the feeling using line, shape, and color -- that images are more primal than words, and that images can often express nuances in a way that words cannot. Additionally, representing emotions visually offers the art-maker the opportunity to de-fuse from thoughts and feelings, and look at these thoughts and feelings from a witness level consciousness. Or in other words, art can help us to look at our thoughts and emotions rather than through them.
Materials/Procedure: M was a willing participant, and chose large white paper and markers. M began her depiction with vibrantly colored wavy lines loosely framing the picture. M then used a gray marker to draw a large gray dot in the center of the page. She then used gray, brown, and black to chaotically surround the dot, in way that closely resembled a bird's nest. M continued to frame and reframe the "nest" with more colors until most of the page was filled with wavy lines and the "nest." M came to an unprompted stopping point and deemed her depiction as complete.
Processing: M and I began processing her artwork. We started by noticing the starting point of her process-- the colorful border lines. M initially referred to these lines as life, happiness, positive energy. M noticed how these lines mostly did not reach the center of the picture, or "the nest." There were some points of brief intersection. M reflected on this observation, stating that she ventures out from the center, and others briefly venture in towards the center, but those moments are fleeting and unpredictable.
We pondered the curiosity of whether or not the darker colors had to have a place in the picture. M affirmed that they did need to have a place in the picture, but she wishes they carried less weight and prominence. M then created a second picture depicting a time in her life when she felt lighter and happier. This second picture showed wavy lines in a variety of colors all moving inward and outward, without the barrier of the nest to contend with. This depiction lacked an obvious, concrete center, although an implied center was evident. M stated that she was much less "to herself" during this time, that others were flowing through the center regularly and without obstruction.
I was reluctant to push my "nest" interpretation onto M, and disclosed this concern to her. However, "the nest" interpretation seemed to resonate with M, and we used this language as the basis for a deeper metaphorical exploration. I asked M what is the purpose of a nest. Safety? Protection? A home? Student responded that her depicted nest was not her home. Her home actually existed in the border of bright and cheerful border. M identified her mother, father, brother, and her dog as separate lines that worked together to form the border. M stated, through tears, that she never feels dark and heavy at home with her family.
This observation gave us the opportunity to look at M's relationships on campus in comparison to her relationships at home. And offered the question, how can we integrate important aspects of home into M so that she can carry them with her on her journey to adulthood.
Comparing the two pieces of artwork also created space to explore the concept of vulnerability and M's own sense of openness toward others who seem to want to have a deeper, more thoughtful relationship with her.
Conclusion:
I asked M if she would like to take home her artwork or if she would like for me to keep it safe in my office. She told me that she wants to revisit this artwork in therapy because it offers a helpful tool to explore, articulate, and understand her emotions with more clarity.
