7 rules for successful conflict resolution

Source: 2/12/2010. As prepared by Catherine LeSaux, LCSW, for intra-office memo

When conflict occurs:
1. Take your temperature. Addressing a problem in the heat of the moment or when you're hot under the collar is not always the best time for problem solving. Give yourself some cooling off time.
2. Remember problems are not created in a vacuum. Ask yourself, "What's my responsibility, my part of the equation? What have I contributed, perhaps, unintentionally, to the problem?"
3. Accept and acknowledge your part of the equation. i.e. "maybe I wasn't clear in giving instruction; maybe there was an edge in the tone of my voice that may have been misinterpreted."
4. Address the issue of concern directly with your co-worker. If a resolution hasn't been reached, consult with a mentor or supervisor. Gossiping with co-workers is passive-aggressive and non-productive.
5. Focus on the problem, not personalities.
6. Be assertive rather than aggressive in your approach. You can still have very strong feelings about the topic while conducting yourself with a professional demeanor.
7. Remember that relationships are often strengthened and creative solutions can result from situations where the conflict has been addressed in a healthy manner.